Tips for Naming Your Wifi Network

One of the most enjoyable parts of buying a wireless router should be giving it a name. It’s the glorious finalization that you bought, setup, and now have a fully functioning wifi system in your home. Naming your wifi network is a special moment and dictates a lot about you as a person. Thus, very special consideration must be taken during the naming process. At WTFwifi we hope to provide you with some insight and guidance for not becoming a dd-wrt, netgear, or linksys generic name! Below are some helpful hints and things to think about.

What's in a Wifi Name?

Your wifi network name is one of the most key ingredients to introducing yourself to your wireless community. What you state in your wifi network name will, no doubt, be a tool in determining the type of user and member of the community you are. Therefore, it is very important to think through who and what your community is.

Choosing the right name and message for you is a special part of wifi ownership, so think long and hard about it, as naming your wireless network is an excellent decision making skill!

And don’t forget, unlike naming your child, the best part about wireless network name is that you can change it!

Things to Consider When Naming Your Wifi Network:

In many communities it’s not hard to tell whose wifi network is whose given the sparse nature of the area, or close community ties. However, that doesn’t mean that your wifi name has to compromise its sense of humor or meaning. Those who are located within dense urban areas, however, do reap the benefit of an additional sense of anonymity, which can aid in being more outlandish than those people located within suburban or rural areas. However, bear in mind that despite being located within an urban area, it is still possible to potentially be identified. As mother said “if you don’t have anything nice to say…” just say it with your wifi name!

Similar to an update status on various social media sites, your wifi network name can be changed at any given time, and offer a life time of amusement as the age of smart phones and computers are constantly allowing users to search the area for the ability to connect to the internet. Hence the reason why so many wifi names are dedicated to stating that they contain a virus or are protected. Statements such as these fall under the Wifi Bill of Rights 1 and 2, which allow for Freedom of Speech and Right to Bear Viruses, respectively. Although these can be a bit drab from time to time, and can be deemed a tad cliché in the wifi world, they are none the less amusing and a very popular group for naming your wifi network.

Other things to consider when naming your wireless network are the visitors who are staying with you. Although it might seem funny at first glance to name your wifi network “I hump camel toes,” it’s probably not worth the headache you will have when your family comes to visit and needs to connect to YOUR wireless network. After naming your wifi network you tend to forget to change it. Good luck explaining that one to your mother-in-law.

Sometimes your wifi network name is the best way to tell your neighbors your grievances while staying anonymous. Hence the wifi name of “Fat man on the 7th floor is a douche” found in NYC, NY. This wifi name outlines a wonderful scenario: a distinct source of aggression, location of the aggression, and states the grievance. It’s passive and aggressive all at the same time, and avoids all uncomfortable hallway and elevator experiences. Similar situations are appropriate for yappy dogs or neighbors who have loud sex. Similarly, wifi names can be used to send nice messages as well, such as the wifi name of “:)” Who doesn’t like a smiley face?

Cautions When Naming Your Wifi Network

We hope that through your research on WTFwifi you will learn a variety of tools for naming your wifi network. However, there are still those people who have the occasional inappropriate wifi name or that expose too much. Such things that should never be mentioned are your full name or address. This is just stupid and opens a whole new level of stalking abilities to people. Another strong point to be made is not to talk about your love of children. You come off as a pedophile. Finally, murder. When I see wifi names that include these things, it makes me think of an amazing Law and Order Episode where wifi names aid in the capture of a sick rapist or something. Aside from those red flags, let the world be your inspiration!

Sources of Inspiration When Naming Your Wifi Network

There is no better source of inspiration than the world around you, your special interests, or things that are infallibly funny. In my opinion, dogs humping things and farts are 99% of the time hilarious and carry with them an amazing imagery. Shock value counts for a lot, and the unusual and absurd are always a popular choice.

Sexual innuendos hold a special place in the wifi world, as half of them go unnoticed as exploits. Such names as “The Phantom” upon first glance may trigger your brain to think Phantom of the Opera. However, upon further research you might find that “The Phantom” is not only a Comic Book Character, as per Wikipedia, but also “A sexual exploit used during intercourse. In traditional doggy style position the male spits on the females back as he removes his genitals from her. The female in normal response will turn around, where, at that moment, the male will ejaculate on her face. The technique is aptly named the Phantom for its ability to deceive a female into a males ejaculation on her backside causing great humiliation to the female and extreme jubilance for the male,” as dictated on Urban Dictionary. Therefore, when naming your wireless network, the best ones tend to be the ones with double meaning. This not only makes them kid proof, but adult and sultry.

Truly, the wifi name database that is building is a treasure trove of information. It’s an insight to a sublayer and culture we never knew existed till now!

Another area where wifi naming shines is in the use of puns and humor (aka Punny). When you have the special ability to make a witty connection between two things, such as living on Avenue D and nuts, and create a network called “Avenue-D’s Nuts” you have an incredible wifi naming ability. Congratulations. Things that are punny show your talent as a comedian in the community. People will appreciate your skills and usually always laugh when your wifi network pops up on their screen. You are not usually offensive, and offer the community a break in the monotony of wifi names and are generous to share the wealth of humor that ensues in your life.

Television consumes a large portion of our daily lives. After work or school we come home and plop down in front of the boob tube and can watch for hours. It consumes our lives and offers an ample source of one-liners, spoofs and satires, and characters that inspire us to name our wireless networks after them. People identify with these alternate realities and therefore, deem them acceptable as a wifi name. These people have created a community all of their own, as a one-liner from the Simpson’s may only be distinguishable by other dedicated fans.

Some of the hardest to decipher wifi names come from incidences that have happened to the users. Although they may not be funny, they offer an outlet within a shared apartment or household to bond. One wifi name submitted to WTFwifi referenced Burning Down a House. Although this isn’t necessarily funny, the submitted provided relevant information documenting the horrible event that torched their home, and in memory of the event decided to name their new router after it. Other events that inspire wifi names may not be as literal. One in particular is “Only winners fuck the prom queen.”

As there are many sources of inspiration for naming a wireless network, it’s imperative to pick a source which will consistently make you laugh and epitomizes the type of person you are. However, if you are going for shock value, more is not less! More is more! The ambiguity that the wifi technology provides to you is a relatively safe haven for freedom of expression. So get your message out there and take advantage of the personal advertisement airwaves!

Other things to think about

Since your wireless network name can be seen and extends past the walls of your home, you need to realize that the message you are sending becomes a public message on the airwaves of the streets. You are in essence placing graffiti on a virtual canvass. It’s a free advertisement of yourself, exemplifying your freedom of speech and expression. It’s a source of creativity, entertainment, and rivalry. This name connects you, not only to the internet via the router, but also to a community of people. WTFwifi is looking to find you and build this community even greater!

May the force be with you my router monsters!